Welcome to the Hotel California........

Such a lovely place





Such a lovely face





They livin' it up at the hotel california





What a nice surprise, bring your alibis











Mirrors on the ceiling,





The pink champagne on ice





And she said we are all just prisoners here, of our own device



As you can tell, JSH and I attended the Eagles concert (Long Road Out of Eden Tour) on Friday night at the Baby Dome. It was my XMAS present from JSH and while she made WAY too many jokes about the demographics of our fellow concert-goers, she might have enjoyed the concert more than I did. She referred to our experience when talking to her mom and sister as a "delightful hit parade."




Glen Frey ("The Heat is On"--Beverly Hills Cop soundtrack---just a reference point for the less Eagles-savvy reader) acted as the "MC" for most of the concert. He opened the night with the following introduction: "Welcome to the Eagles Assisted Living Tour!!!" The crowd went crazy. I have got to give them credit---they own what they are.





The Eagles opened with a 3-4 songs off the new album and then...........Hotel California. It was phenomenal-----and so was the immediate contact high.



We had a lovely couple (insert sarcasm here) from Baton Rouge sitting to the left of us. The guy (we'll call him BR Dude) and his much older girlfriend (we'll call her LSU Cougar) were hammered when we sat down next to them before the concert even started. BR Dude is making small talk with me about how they had been "hitting it pretty hard" since 2pm and he was pretty drunk. Out of nowhere, LSU Cougar leans across him and interrupts by stating (yelling), "Y'all bought these tickets from our friends and paid waaaaay toooo much for them.. You paid like $500 right???" I said I didn't know because these tickets were my Xmas present. Nice way to start the evening. Once the concert began, I leaned over to Jessie and said, "You paid $500 for these tickets???" She said, "No...not even close."



About 30 minutes into the concert, BR Dude leans over and says, "My lady was wrong...you didn't buy your seats from our friends. Those seats are on the other side of us.........I'm sorry that she told y'all that but she is as "effed up" as a witchdoctor right now" I have no idea what that means, but I am pretty sure I am going to use it.



For four guys in their 60s, the Eagles sounded amazing. It was really unbelievable how crisp and clean they sounded. Don Henley's voice was unreal and he closed the concert with Desperado. They played all their greatest hits. JSH and I think "Take it to the Limit" got the largest reaction from the crowd.


Even Joe Walsh seems to be functioning well these days (suprisingly) and brought down the house with "Life's been Good." Although, he did remark that this will probably be the first trip to New Orleans that he remembers. Nice.


I had a great time and the Eagles earned another fan in JSH. She has been humming "Take It Easy" and "Take it to the Limit" all weekend.



Below are some pictures from concert:

The Hotel California












The Eagles---JSH and I could crush them with our thumbs and index fingers










One last item of business before we close the weekend:



Orleans Parish Red Light Traffic Cameras 1



JSH and the Spineless Brown Trout 0

Life's Momentos and Herculean Efforts

As I was digging through JSH's jewelry drawer looking for my tuxedo cuff links, I found my Indiana University class ring. I decided to wear it out on Saturday night for entertainment purposes. If memory serves, the IU Alumni Association created an official class ring beginning with the Class of 1999. For those of you scoring at home (or even if you are all alone), I did take a victory lap before I finally decided on a major. Moving along, while I am extremely appreciative to have the ring as a keepsake from a major accomplishment in my life, it is no longer something that I could wear in public with a straight face (much like Saturday night). It looks like something Tony Soprano might choose to wear to the Bada Bing on a Tuesday.


At Antoine's, everyone took turns with the ring.







Below was JSH's turn:








As promised, here is another picture of JSH and I with Maestro Domingo:










Kinda looks like he had an "oopsie" in his pantaloons and JSH noticed.





On Sunday morning, before I headed to Bruno's to watch football with Tony, McD, Pizzle, etc., JSH and I moved my leather chair to the storage unit. Charlie Murphy
was not home at the time. Thus, JSH and I had to maneuver the chair out of the house, down the front steps, and into the back of the Spineless Brown Trout (my friend Steven's nickname for my 2004 brown....ish Chevy Blazer).

We managed to maneuver it through the front door and I was down the front steps with the heavy side of the chair. Almost as soon as I said, "Be careful the steps are slick from the repainting", JSH slips, drops the chair and the top of the chair pops her in the mouth. As a result, I am stuck holding the chair with no more support from the other side. I pick the chair up and move it 5-6 feet by myself while lifting it into the back of the car. This was a chair I couldn't move by myself 5 minutes before. You know how people sometimes do amazing things under extreme duress or pressure that they otherwise wouldn't be able to under normal circumstances? This was like that..............except not so amazing. JSH claims she heard me give a grunt/growl as I completed my efforts. I am not so sure that is true. She keeps making the Bionic Woman/Six Million Dollar Man "noises" whenever we discuss it. It was definitely a "you had to be there moment" because she was crying from getting hit by the chair and laughing at me all at the same time. I was laughing from amazement at how I got the chair onto the back of the car and crying from my hernia all at the same time.

Anywho, as you can tell---we had an eventful weekend.

The AXE Effect

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a few days for all 6 of my followers We have been busy at work and at home. I wanted to share a few funny stories from the weekend.



On our way to the Placido Concert on Saturday Night, JSH asks me, "What cologne are you wearing? You smell really good" I start laughing and don't say anything.

Later on that night as we are walking to our car, I have my arm around her and, again, she says, "What is that you are wearing? You smell really good." I start laughing and say, "You won't believe me but it's AXE body wash." She says, "No Way---wait, why are YOU wearing that?!"

Charlie Murphy had been using our bathroom to shower while his bathroom was being painted last week. So, all his "stuff" was in our bathroom. The target market for Axe body wash is someone that is Charlie Murphy's age. Me? Not so much. Anywho, I inadvertently used the body wash on Saturday night. Yesterday, I used it again to see if JSH would notice. Again, she started telling me how good I smell, etc, etc. I started laughing again (and so did she as she realized what I was "wearing"). The moral of the story is that apparently those AXE commercials for its various products where girls flock to the dudes that use AXE are not exaggerated. Maybe I could convince AXE to make me its "Jared." I could be a spokesperson and provide real life testimonials about how its products really do work that well---even for husbands and wives.

For more on the Axe Effect, check out this link:

http://www.theaxeeffect.com/aboutaxe.html



More pictures of the weekend and funny stories to follow. Thanks for your patience.

JSH, BEAUX, and PLACIDEAUX

I will provide a detailed post with a description of the whole night and more pictures later. For now enjoy a few pictures/ and a video from last night. I must thank Craig for introducing us to Placido---with a little help from liquid courage. I believe the quote was "Placido, let me introduce you to my dear friends Jessie and Beau." Placido--not really knowing if Craig, Jessie or I were important enough to meet or talk to---happily obliged. The introduction resulted in a photo op.

Check out our pictures from last night:

JSH, Maestro Domingo, and I

She liked me

Good Times at Antoine's

Placido with his Baked Alaska BDAY Cake:

A Night With Placido

JSH, Lizzie, Craig, Jody, Mollie, Ms. Kathy, Mr. Mike, and I are all attending the Placido Domingo gala at the Mahalia Jackson Theater.




I know absolutely nothing about opera except that Enrico Palazzo saved the Queen of England in the Naked Gun. I just never had any interest---although any potential to become interested in the opera was probably killed my mom's need to take us to see CATS 72 times between 1988 and 1992. My taste for all things musicals/operas was soured by age 14. If I ever saw Andrew Lloyd Webber in the street, I probably would have punched him in the face and I definitely would have locked Rum Tum Tugger in a room with Indie.









VS.








My poor Mom---she needed a daughter in the worst way. I am happy that Chris and I married well and that Kayla puts up with Geoff because it has given Mom the daughters she never had while also providing her relief from the Haynes locker room at 122 Berkeley.



Anywho, I am excited for tonight. I get to experience something that is completely new to me while also getting to hang with the Schott Family, Jody, and Mollie. It should be a great time.


I will post pictures tomorrow from the concert. Yes--the camera is ready to go.



Check out Placido's website:




http://www.placidodomingo.com/196/intro.php

ACC(I)(D)ENT WALL--Updated

This week we have Keaton (our new contractor) working at our house to get it ready to go on the market. The front of the house needed to be power washed and repainted including the front doors and shutters. On the inside, the first major task was to repaint the bathroom in Charlie Murphy's suite because the incorrect paint was used originally resulting in splash stains from the sink or shower. The second major task was to fix the accent wall in our main room. For those of you that have been to our home, you will remember the orange accent wall that catches your eye right as you walk in the front door.

The accent wall (or the accident wall as it has become known) was our first real attempt at home improvement. I wouldn't call it a disaster but it wasn't exactly a success. We didn't use the right type of paint which caused every contour of the wall to "stick out." *EDITOR'S NOTE: JSH and Beau were not responsible for selecting the wrong paint for the bathroom described earlier in this blog post.* In addition, as we were applying the second coat, JSH got confused and decided to paint the wall adjacent to the accent wall. Thus, she put an orange racing stripe down the side of the wrong wall. It wasn't that noticeable so, needless to say, the racing stripe turned 3 years old on Monday. This was Keaton's biggest task today (not for him but for us) and I have to say that the wall looks great---especially sans racing stripe.





Take a look for yourself:

Sans Racing Stripe





Correct Paint



I must apologize for the quality of the photos. Our camera is dead and I took the pictures with my blackberry. However, one bright spot is that I think I have come of age "technologically" at 32 years young. To solve the problem with the camera, I took the pictures with my phone and uploaded them to FaceSpace Nation (my term for FaceBook) using the blackberry FaceSpace application. I then went on FaceSpace and downloaded (or uploaded) the pictures to my blog. I did all of this whilst using the "IM" function on blackberry to talk to my dad---who happens to be at Dancing with the Stars with my aunts.






The Good Fellas opened its season with a 53-51 victory over a pretty good team and we were firing on all cylinders. The other team was much more talented but lazy on defense and lacked (or lacks) a high basketball IQ. Yours truly got an offensive rebound and putback with 2 seconds left to clinch the victory after our opponent hit a 3 pointer with 7 seconds left to tie the game. Coach Crean---again----I do have four years of eligibility left and would happily enroll in IU's Kelly School of Business MBA program. Just make me a scholarship offer.

Indiana, Our Indiana

As many of you may know, I am a graduate of Indiana University-Bloomington. Thus, Indiana Basketball is one of my true passions. This year has been a tough one for the Hoosiers. We find ourselves amidst a large rebuilding process as result of Kelvin Sampson's inability to stay off the phone.

Tonight, Charlie Murphy, JSH, Indie (named after my home state and school) and I watched IU lose a not so close game on the road to the Ohio State Buckeyes. Indiana did not play well. In the last two games, Indiana's opponents (Illinois and OSU) have shot a combined 52% from the field including 26-49 from 3pt range. In those same games, Indiana has shot a combined 37% from the field including 5-22 from 3pt range if you are scoring at home (or even if you are all alone). Not good.

While I knew that IU would struggle all year from a defensive/rebounding standpoint, I didn't think they would struggle this much to score points. That being said, Coach Crean, if you are reading this, I do have some eligibility left and my left-handed jump shot is still deadly. Call me or post a comment with my scholarship offer. I can be in Bloomington by Thursday for practice.

All joking aside, I have enjoyed watching this year's version of the Hoosiers because the team plays with energy and passion, they play together, and they have a high basketball IQ---although sometimes the body can't always catch up to the mind with this group of players.

For any Hoosier fans that might read this, the following you tube clips should cheer you up and remind you that brighter days are ahead:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LjU0VTNTb0&feature=related




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdsCEFA1Ln0





CLARIFICATION:


Some of my followers (all 4 of you) have asked about the identity of Charlie Murphy.

My brother Charlie is living with us right now while he attends law school at Loyola. Born Charles Robert Haynes, Charlie was dubbed "Charlie Murphy" during my bachelor party in Chicago. This nickname stems from The Chappelle Show---which was popular at the time.

Sometimes the Vision Takes No Prisoners

JSH has been looking for two chairs to put in our den for the past 9 months. She doesn't like that there are not enough chairs (or places to sit) when we have more than 3 people over to our house--which means we use our bar stools. This is the granddaddy of all her visions. It has resulted in numerous trips to multiple furniture stores, hours spent online shopping, and one afternoon in which we didn't speak to each other after a frustrating trip to Georgian Furnishing.

Today the Vision became reality when JSH and her Mom showed up at 931 Harmony with these bad boys (ironically from Georgian Furnishing) :





The Vision did have one casualty. My leather chair (and Indie's favorite piece of furniture) is now being banished to a storage unit never to be sat on or reclined in again. Let's all take a moment to pay our last respects to her:

Jessie claims that my leather chair will rise again once we have a bigger house that includes a "flop den." I have my doubts. Either way, I like the new chairs and am glad we have them.

Reasons to Celebrate

Tonight JSH, Charlie Murphy and I are going to Crescent City Steakhouse to celebrate Charlie Murphy's 28th Birthday and some good news I received at work this past week. I have never been to Crescent City Steakhouse and am very excited for my first experience there. I have only heard great things and that it is the "best steakhouse in the city." I have no doubt Charlie Murphy and I will enjoy the menu. As Hoosiers, any restaurant that offers a Midwestern diet of meat, potatoes, and beer will always be popular with us. However, I don't think JSH will eat much tonight. As a vegetarian, her choices will be limited but she is a good sport and doing this for us.



JSH does have an interesting perspective about tonight's dinner. Because of my raise at work, she thinks I should "celebrate" by picking up the tab tonight. That doesn't really make sense to me as I would think I would be treated to dinner in celebration of my accomplishment. Under this theory, I will be buying myself birthday and Christmas presents this year as well. Anywho, second semester at Loyola Law School starts for Charlie on Monday and we will be back in our normal routines at 931 Harmony. I am looking forward to spending some time with JSH and Charlie Murphy tonight----good food and good company.

I was "Thigpenned"--Updated

For the past 4 years, I have participated in the Florida Premier League, a fantasy football league that is run by friend, Patrick. I have made the championship game the last three years--winning in 2007. We can table the discussion on whether my team is the "Oklahoma Sooners of the FPL" for another time. This year, I lost to a team that started Tyler Thigpen at QB. Personally, I think there should be a general rule that no team is allowed to win a fantasy league with Tyler Thigpen at quarterback. Actually, I am contemplating contacting Bill Simmons---ESPN's The Sports Guy"--- to see if he will add "being thigpenned" to his "dictionary" as a phrase for a situation such as mine---and give me credit for it of course. Needless to say, Tyler Thigpen had a pretty good "championship game" and sent the New Orleans Hoosiers home with a runner-up finish.



I enjoy fantasy football but I never take it too seriously and I never understand people that do. I try to draft a team that will maintain some consistency over the course of an NFL season, hope that a couple of my later round picks become surprise fantasy contributors as the season plays out, and pray I don't lose a big player to injury. I only make roster moves when absolutely necessary and rarely trade any players. I have found that keeping it simple results in some decent success.

There are a few guys in the FPL that actually believe they are coaching a real team. Their trades, choice of lineups, roster moves, etc. show what great "coaches" they are and the success of their teams can only be attributed to their deft moves and great football instincts. REALLY? I MEAN REALLY? At the end of the day, this is MAKE-BELIEVE football and you have to be lucky more than anything. Just ask my friend, Jason "the Duck" Franco. He had the best team in the league this year and was knocked out by yours truly in the semi-final round of the playoffs.

One new addition to the FPL was the FPL Cup. The winner of the FPL gets to keep the cup for his reign as champion. To be fair, Patrick is allowing past winners to spend some time with the little beauty. As past champions, Jason and I spent some quality time with the FPL Cup over the New Year's holiday. Check it out:

We have more pictures from our day with the FPL Cup. We are taunting Patrick because he has yet to win a title in the FPL. For you Borat fans, the caption on this photo should read:

You will never get this............You will never get this.......................lalalalala..........la........la!!!!

I have joined the Blogosphere

I've always wondered what it would be like to be one of "those guys" that gets to spout off his or her opinions through some type of medium--whether it be a newspaper columnist, a talking head on CBS, NBC, ESPN, or CNN, or talk show host like Oprah. I never had any aspirations to be a journalist or commentator--save for a semester as a journalism major (among others) at Indiana University. I am not exactly sure what this blog will consist of from day-to-day but it is my outlet for my opinions and thoughts related to sports, politics, all things New Orleans, or the current events of my life

My wife, Jessie (hereinafter referred to as "JSH")........wait....let me start over....that's the lawyer in me writing. When I sent Jessie the link to this blog, she responded with "suggestions" of pictures I should post or subjects I should write about. The joke at 931 Harmony is that when Jessie has a 'vision', it is my job to execute said vision.....translation: make the vision happen and soon. This could be as simple as choosing a restaurant or wearing an emasculating costume at Mardi Gras or other event (King Cake Baby at Mardi Gras or Mango at an SNL party) or as frustrating as repainting a bedroom in our house. My point is that this blog is my vision on a variety of topics and, hopefully, a creative outlet that you don't get in the day-to-day grind of practicing law. I hope you will find it interesting, and maybe even entertaining.