Nothing But the Best..........

Even though we were still hungover from DC, JSH and I attended the Acheans Mardi Gras ball the Friday after we returned home.





Craig is a member of Acheans and invited JSH and I to attend along with Lizzie (obviously), Justin and Mary Noller.





I have never been to Mardi Gras Ball. The opinions I have heard vary from "it is awesome" to "it is awesome only if you are in the krewe or know people in the krewe" to "it sucks and is just alot of standing around watching people you don't know do stuff." My opinion: It was a pretty cool experience and if you are with good people---it is a great time.





I didn't realize that it was a full dress tuxedo event--thus, another trip to Perlis was required. At this point, let me go on a rant regarding the complete racket that Perlis has going on with tuxedo rentals during Mardi Gras season. I spend at least 3 1/2 bills on tuxedos for the month of January. Each time I went in there to pick up a tux, they had multiple racks of tuxedos lined up for that weekend's events. The worst part is that for DC Mardi Gras ball I had to rent two shirts because it was anticipated we would need to wear the tuxedos twice. Perlis charged me a rental and one-half just for the tuxedo with one extra shirt (which I didn't end up wearing). Really? I mean I guess it's good to see someone is prospering during this economic downturn. The worst part is that the tuxedos are crappy and hardly ever fit. For Acheans, the shirt didn't fit around the collar so there was an open hole in between the buttons near by neck. Thus, if I turned the right way, you could see my 3 chest hairs. Sexy.





I guess I could be a grown up and buy a tuxedo. I am done growing. But, what fun would that be?





Anywho, moving on. We had a great time hanging with Lizzie, Justin, and Mary Noller. Craig was hilarious in his costume (he was a horse or donkey) and we ended up drinking alot. After the end of the ball, we got to attend the Queen's breakfast---which didn't start until midnight. I called it the "bacon breakfast" because they had great bacon and lots of it. After 3 plates of bacon, we called it a night and headed home for some much needed sleep.








The highlight of the night was the high life. The bar at the ball was serving Miller High Life---a favorite of mine. JSH and I took a great picture in our formal attire with our respective champagnes---her "champers" and my champagne of beer. I think it is the early clubhouse leader for the Christmas card in 2009.





Tell me what you think:



Happy Holidays!

The Haynes Family and High Life

Nothin' But the Best!

One Month Ago: Episode IV, Part B "Keep your Eye on the Prize and Prom Pictures"

This is the final installment of my DC Mardi Gras experience. Hold onto your hats, boys and girls.

Jody and I had to be downstairs (in our tuxedos) by 7pm on Saturday night so that we could immediately change out of our tuxedos and into our krewe costumes. This was my first time parading in any form for Mardi Gras so I was a little apprehensive as to what was going to happen. As we are lining up to make our first entrance into the ballroom, Jody says, "This first trip is just for show and you don't want to be stuck on the ballroom floor while they introduce all the queens and princesses because it's boring. You will be stuck just sitting on the floor with no food or drink. So, it's like musical chairs.....you need to get back to the door before it shuts or you are SOL. Keep your eye on the prize." Those last words were stuck in my head as I made my way around the ballroom floor.

Everyone is dressed in krewe gear so you can easily lose the person you are with or get lost without a lifeline. Both happened to me. I make one lap around the parading area and decide that I need to go again. BIG MISTAKE. As I come around the final turn of lap 2, I see the door start to close. It was kinda like watching the draw bridge go up on the castle in the movies and Robin Hood or Sir Lancelot is racing to get across it or risk falling into the moat. Except that I ain't Kevin Costner or Richard Gere. Anywho I start running towards the aisle to get to the door when a Lieutenant in the Krewe yells, "Get down! Everyone down!." The music stopped and I had no chair. Ironically, I got to sit on the ground.

The worst part was that after I gave up the dream of getting through the door, Plan B was to get to Matthew's box so he could at least feed me and give me drinks. I was short by two boxes. So close...yet so far away.

The silver lining was the the Band from Tiger Land made a first time appearance (and surprise appearance) at DC Mardi Gras. If I had made it through the door, I wouldn't have seen that. It was pretty cool. I cheer for LSU in everything because I have friends and family that our alums or huge supporters of the school. However, watching grown men bark and hump the wall when the band played the fight song makes me want to cheer for Florida. I do admire the passion---probably no different than watching grown men cry when Bobby Knight walks in a room.

The queens and princesses were introduced and I got back into the room to prepare for the actual parade.

I very much enjoyed parading. I ran out of throws way too quick but that was because I nailed a few princesses with 6 stuffed animals and I gave a 70 year old women everything on my arm. Her reaction was priceless.

After the parade, there are 7 call out dances in which the krewe members "call out" women in the crowd for a dance and present them with a gift after the song is over. Those were fun. However, Matthew made fun of Jody and I for rotating between JSH and Mollie for the first 4 dances. So, I got to dance with his mother on Dance 5.

We cutout after the 5th call out dance and headed back to the hotel lobby to conclude our evening. All in all, the evening (and weekend) ended with a wimper. We were out until 1:30 but really didn't drink that much. Matthew, JSH, and I posed for "prom pictures" to document our time at DC Mardi Gras. Actually, the night did end with an interesting story.

JSH and Mollie ordered a few pizzas, water, appetizers, and beer to our room as we were getting ready to keep us all nourished for the long night ahead. There was no formal meal at the parade.

When Mollie and Jody got back to the room, they pushed the leftovers out into the hall because the room smelled like pizza.

The people in the room next to us came home a few minutes later and the following statements were heard through our door (per Mollie):



Pizza! Suuweeet! Well, if they aren't going to eat it, someone should.

They took all the leftover pizza and beer into their room for a midnight feast.

The sad thing is that I would expect this from some college kids or Blackwelder. But, it was a middle-aged couple who attended the night's events with us. The vision of an older couple in a tuxedo and ball gown stealing leftover room service makes me laugh.

You stay classy, Louisiana.

Jody and I getting ready---James Bond we aren't

Prom Picture 1

Prom Picture 2

Prom Picture 3

DC Mardi Gras Parade

My Apologies

I know.........I know. I have slacked off with my blog.........but it was Mardi Gras

I am sorry.


And with that, I now give you the last three weeks of the Life O' Haynes Family.

One Month Ago: Episode IV Part A "Stoney's and Georgetown Movie Trivia"

Saturday began with Mara's surprise 30th birthday party at Stoney's.

Reuben asked JSH and I to help lure Mara to Stoney's where everyone would be waiting. So, we showed up at Mara and Reuben's place under the guise of having brunch as we wouldn't see them again. Mara was having none of that. The whole time she kept telling us how "random" Stoney's was and it is so weird that Reuben wants to go there."

As previously discussed, Mara and JSH share a brain. Thus, when Mara has a vision, Reuben is supposed to make that vision happen. Reuben, much like myself, is a pretty easy-going guy. So, we know how to deal with the various visions that run in and out of our lives on a daily basis.

As we are walking to Stoney's, Mara is still going on and on about Stoney's. "Dooooood, why does he want to eat there? It's sooooooooo weird." I think, in part, she didn't understand why he picked this place and, in part, she was annoyed that (in her mind") Reuben hadn't made any big plans for her b-day. When Reuben and I open the door to Stoney's, Mara announces that she knows a better place across the street and that we are going there. At this point, JSH runs interference and tells Mara that Stoney's was written up in the NY Times and that it was recommended to her so we should just go there. Reuben looks at me and says, "Your wife is good."

Still confused, Mara walks up the stairs into the private room/bar area of Stoney's where 15-20 of her friends and family are waiting. Needless to say, she very much surprised and Reuben made it a birthday to remember for Mara. Oh, and there was chocolate cake--so that was good too.

Mara, Reuben, and the little dood at Stoney's

After Stoney's, JSH and I headed to Georgetown to walk around and do some shopping with Jody and Mollie. We wondered over to Georgetown's campus, where we saw the Exorcist stairs and the quad used in the movie St. Elmo's fire. This started a full on St. Elmo's Fire "quote fest" from all of us. Very funny.....yet kinda sad. I love Georgetown. It is absolutely beautiful and I hope that little DD3 or C_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Haynes (JSH does not divulge her name for a girl as she wants to keep it unique) will have the opportunity to go to a school of that caliber. Hopefully, they get JSH's brains.

Mollie and Jody at the Exorcist Stairs

JSH and I at Georgetown

Last Week: Episode III "All Day Happy Hour, Black Ties, and French Fries"

Friday morning=Hungover.

Blackwelder picked us up to go to breakfast at The Diner in Adam's Morgan. It was the best steak and eggs I have ever eaten. For anyone looking for a good little breakfast/lunch spot while in DC....check it out.

After breakfast, JSH and Mollie went to see Reuben, Mara, and the little doood. I rode with Blackwelder out to Arlington, Virginia to drop his car off for an oil change, etc.

Jody slept.

The Honda dealership in Arlington has an express lane drop off service and will drive you to the Metro station if needed. Try finding that in New Orleans. Riiiiiiiight.

Anywho, instead of having the nice old man at the dealership drive us to the Metro station, Blackwelder has him drop us off at Carpool----Blackwelder's version of Cheers. Hey, it's 1:30pm and I am on vacation. Why not start drinking?

After 2 hours of beers and bullsh*tting, we rode the Metro back into DC just in time for Happy Hour at the Laughing Man---a week old establishment that was owned by the same people as Carpool. It would've been cooler if we went to Gary's Tavern. Eh? Eh, Cheers fans?

In all seriousness, had a great time hanging with Blackwelder. We talked basketball, our tennis glory days, and Mardi Gras 2009. I am very much looking forward to the Wedge's law school crew coming in for Mardi Gras..........my liver is not.

Upon my return to the Hinkley Hilton, I found Jody (alive) and Mollie in the lobby bar. JSH was on her way back from Mara and Reuben's place. We sat down for a few drinks and were discussing the upcoming activities for the night. The Friday night event at DC Mardi Gras is a black tie dinner in honor of the King/Queen and their court. It is sit down, the food is what you would expect at such an event, and it lasts forever. Jody and Mollie brought up another fact about the event that was a deal breaker........Mollie says, "Yeah, we looked at the tickets for tonight. We are at different tables."

Jody and I start dancing around the idea of not going. We are both concerned that JSH will want to go. I said, "I don't think she will care at all---especially if we aren't sitting together"

JSH comes strolling into the lobby and sits down with us. Jody and I look at each other sheepishly and I say, "We are thinking about calling an audible and not going to the dinner."

JSH says, "Really? Okay, that's fine with me. We could do a fun dinner!" I said, "yeah, well you also know we aren't sitting together at the dinner"

JSH responds, "Oh......eff that....let's go out to our own dinner!" Done and done.

Mollie said, "So, no one is upset that we aren't getting dressed up tonight and will be missing the black tie event?"

I responded that we could just sit in the lobby bar in our black tie attire with drinks and an order of french fries (Mollie's favorite). Thus, "Black ties and french fries" was born. It was the beat the dead horse mantra for Friday night.

Moving right along, we got 8:30 dinner reservations at Capital City Grill on Pennsylvania Avenue near the Hill (I love saying that--it makes me feel like Josh Lyman). We had a fantastic meal and we were way too excited (and maybe a little proud of ourselves) that we skipped the dinner---to the point that it was all we talked about.

I can't tell you how much fun we had with Mollie and Jody over the course of the weekend. We couldn't have asked for better roommates/cohorts for our first DC Mardi Gras.

Upon our return from dinner, we sat in the lobby bar with Matthew for a few drinks. The night ended with a whimper compared to our Thursday night shenanigans. We went to bed.

Below are some pictures from Friday:

JSH, Mara, and the little dood at the White House

Chi Omegas at the White House

Mara and her little dood

JSH and I at Capital City Grille

Mollie, JSH, Jody, and I----all very excited about the change of plans

"Thank you for my french fries, Jody"

HEY NOW.

Sometime before Tuesday....Episode IV, Part A, "Stoney's and Georgetown Movie Trivia"

Sometime after that..........Episode IV, Part B, "Keep Your Eye on the Prize and Prom Pictures"

Last Week: Episode II "Old Friends, New Friends, Private Jets and Grand Marnier"

In the days leading up to our trip to DC, Mollie, JSH, Jody, and I had a pretty extensive email thread going about logistics, krewe responsibilities, wardrobes, etc. for the weekend. Inevitably, this turned into a JSH/Mollie exchange of emails that this weekend was similar to a fraternity formal in college as follows: sharing a hotel room; formal dresses; not knowing who your date is; bringing the beer bong (or other bong); and discussion of the alcohol marathon on which we were about to embark. JSH and Mollie are both Chi Omega advisers so maybe it was the recent rush activities that brought this attempt at humor to life. Anywho, Mollie and JSH had an hour(s) long exchange re: fraternity formal jokes. After the 25th email, I sent the following picture:













Whilst I was feeling like I had some comedic genius in me (and also feeling a little smug) because of my "beat the dead horse" email, it would come back to haunt me by Friday morning. But we'll get to that later.




We get to the Hilton-Washington (aka the "Hinkley Hilton" for obvious reasons) around 11am and are able to check into our room immediately. Within 3 minutes of being inside of our room, Mara and her husband Reuben knock on our door. Mara is Jessie's old roommate and best friend from Tulane.




I am pretty certain that Mara and JSH share a brain. They are both self-proclaimed book worms. Whatever they doing....Wherever they are........somehow, some way it involves reading or a discussion of what they just read. However, for all their intellectual pursuits in life, each is a sucker for crap reality TV.



For those that know JSH, we all know that she communicates through Jessie-speak using the following words: traumatizing, scarring, deench, deets, obvi, truly, and fully, etc. Of course, all of it is done in that sweet Southern accent (at least she has an accent to me). Mara has a similar language that uses her Wisconsin roots as follows: toootally, dooooode (dude), rooobs or rooby (Reuben), I know, right?, and your name will be shortened to its first letter if appropriate (so in my case, I am "B"-which I love).



The interesting thing about Jessie-speak and Mara-ese is that the two languages somehow mesh together to form this organized chaos of a dialogue that usually results in Mara's Pee Wee Herman laugh and Jessie snorting. I love it and I love to see Mara and Reuben. They are the best. Last but certainly not least, Mara and Reuben have 6month-ish old baby boy--Daniel --but we will get to that little doood later (complete with art).





Now that we have made the appropriate introductions for future blog post purposes, we (Mollie, JSH, Mara, Reuben, Jody, and I) went to Old Ebbitt for lunch. It was fantastic---I love DC.





After lunch, Mollie and JSH went to get their nails "did." Jody and I walked back to the hotel to enjoy the atmosphere of the Hilton lobby during this specific weekend. If you are a lobbyist, part of the Congressional delegation for Louisiana, a state or local politician, or just a political enthusiast, this might be your Disney World. Wow. I am not in that world but it was impressive to watch all the activity in that lobby.





After a few drinks over the course of the afternoon, we moved from the lobby area bar to the 'real bar' behind the elevators. At that point we met up with my friend Matthew and JSH and Mollie had also returned from the nail "didding." After a few more drinks, JSH, Mollie, and Jody head up to the room to get ready for the cocktail party that night. Matthew and I stay to have a few more drinks (picking up a pattern here?). Anyway, as Matthew and I are leaving, we run into a young lady that Matthew knows and her husband. Matthew introduces me to this couple and tells the husband ("Husband") that I had recently visited wine country. Apparently, Husband grew up in wine country and his family owns multiple vineyards in Sonoma/Napa. So, Husband and I strike up a brief conversation about wine country before Matthew and I move on to get ready for the cocktail party.





The cocktail party at DC Mardi Gras is definitely an interesting event. It is held in the same ballroom as the actual Mardi Gras parade/ball and it is filled with corporate sponsors, their "boxes", and sampling tables from a variety of fantastic Louisiana/New Orleans restaurants. Basically, people walk around drinking, talking and eating. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.





There are also Louisiana/New Orleans bands, and many Mardi Gras-type "cooky" things (see picture below). Needless to say, we had a great time.





Because the party ends at 9pm, the lobby and the "real bar" become the after parties for many--- that would include JSH, Jody, Mollie, Matthew, and I. In addition, our friend Blackwelder also met us after his multiple happy hour events. On a side note, Blackwelder is friends with Andy Baldwin (the Bachelor) and Matthew knows the young lady he chose. Both Matthew and Blackwelder are from DC and bonded over their DC-ness. I always like it when friends from different parts of your life meet each other and are able to find some type of common link or form a new friendship. It's amazing how small the world can be. I am pretty sure Blackwelder is invited to Matthew's family dinner during Mardi Gras.





At this point it is getting late in the night and we start discussing a game plan for the next day, when Husband shows back up at the 'real bar'. Between shots of Grand Marnier, discussions of wine country and pretentious people, Matthew, Blackwelder, and I have somehow negotiated a wine country trip on Husband's private jet whenever I decide the time is right. I am not sure how I was granted this power but I'll take it. In exchange for this trip, I have offered Indianapolis 500 tickets to Husband for 2009--which of course---we will be attending via his private jet. Sounds like a win-win for me.





Two things to take away from Episode II:





1) Grand Marnier might be the worst thing you could possibly decide to shoot. GOO.





2) In my Grand Marnier- induced stupor, I told Jody/Mollie/JSH at least 25 times on Thursday night/Friday morning that we were all taking a private jet to wine country. Thus, Mollie and JSH started teasing me about the following:






what goes around..........comes around.














Below are some pictures for your enjoyment
















Blackwelder met us in time for the private jet conversation and Grand Marnier shots























Interesting














A video sampling of the festivities from Thursday Night---I think you may see Jody for a few seconds











This Weekend: Episode III "All Day Happy Hour, Black Ties and French Fries"; Episode IV--TBD

Last Week: Episode I "NOLA being NOLA"

Hellooooooo, Beaux Kneauxs Nation. I apologize for the infrequent posts but JSH and I have had a busy and, quite frankly, a weird week.


A good friend's father passed away, my cousins from Indiana spent the night in Orleans Parish Prison last Wednesday night/Thursday morning for asking a policewoman for help, 931 Harmony Street went on the market, and we spent Thursday-Sunday in Washington DC for the DC Mardi Gras festivities. As you can see, it was an eventful week to say the least.

In order to break up what would be a very long post with lots o' pictures, I am going to relay the events of last week in episodes---with each post being an episode. Thus, this post is Episode I (see above). In addition, I think creating a little anticipation and maybe, dare I say, some suspense with each post, I might be able to keep some of my readers (Hi Julie).

My cousin Michael and his wife Sarah came to New Orleans last Wednesday evening for Sarah's sales meeting. Sarah works for Matilda Jane (a clothing company for children) as its director of sales development. She spent months planning this meeting. The original plan was for JSH and I to meet them for a late drink on Wednesday night at the Carousel Bar. However, they got into New Orleans early and we were in Baton Rouge at the wake for our friend's father. Our plans to see each other never really solidified.








Sarah and Michael went out with some of their friends who were also in town for the conference. JSH and I got home around 9pm from Baton Rouge and still had not packed for our 6am flight to Washington. When Michael sent me a text message that they were at Pat O's, I responded that we were going to pass on the plans tonight but would see them on Sunday for the Super Bowl. His response was only "I'm on my second hurricane." GOO. I responded that he should careful not to be the Kevin Padget of the 2009 Matilda Jane sales meeting. (Kevin is my cousin that could not attend my wedding because he had one too many hurricanes at Pat O's the Friday afternoon/evening before)


Around 3am on Thursday morning, I receive a phone call from my cousin Nancy (Michael's little sister) that Michael and Sarah were arrested after Michael was "jumped outside a bar on Bourbon Street." Now, I am not going to lie. I love my cousins. But, my first thought was that Michael (aka "Bad Buzz") had mouthed off to the wrong bouncer, a fight started, and Michael ended up on the losing end-both with the bouncers and NOPD. Sarah, never one to shy away from expressing her opinion, probably mouthed off to the wrong cop and got to ride along with her husband.




Boy, was I wrong.






After a night in Pat O's, Michael and Sarah are walking out of the main entrance holding hands for their walk back to the Monteleone. As soon as Michael steps outside....BAM!.......One of the waiters/bouncers/workers in the green vests is on top of Michael hitting/kicking him. Michael is able to get away from him and runs towards Royal Street looking for help. The Pat O's worker runs towards Bourbon Street. As Michael gets to Royal Street, he sees a police car and knocks on the window. He asks the police officer for help and they walk back to Pat O'Brien's. The staff members says they never saw anything---even though there was a group of green vested gentlemen watching the incident. The next thing Michael knows he is shoved against a wall and put in handcuffs for disturbing the peace. The cop didn't believe his story. Sarah yells, "What the eff (you can translate) is going on !!??" and the cop turns and says, "What did you say to me b*tch?" Thus, Sarah is also arrested for disturbing the peace. My favorite part of this story is that, at some point, Sarah asks one of the officers, "How do you get arrested for disturbing the peace on Bourbon Street?" That's funny.






They both got out the next morning and are okay.






Your first instinct , upon reading this, is that something must have happened to cause the fight---whether it be an exchange of words or whatever. Typically, you might assume Michael probably deserved the initial treatment by the Pat O's staff and subsequent arrest because he was "just another hammered tourist." However, it doesn't appear that way. The cop was out of line for making the arrest and simply decided to mess with a young couple from Indiana.

The worst part (and the point of this post) is that it is another negative impression of New Orleans by people that were trying to support the city. Sarah and Michael spent their first wedding anniversary in New Orleans in the summer of 2003. When Sarah was charged with organizing the sales meeting, she chose New Orleans as the location immediately. I don't think there was another city on her list. She spent months negotiating with Hotel Monteleone to "host" her salespeople, their families, and the events of the weekend because she and Michael had enjoyed the hotel so much during our wedding. This sales meeting was a small example of what this city needs as support.........and was also a HUGE example of why this city can't get out of its own way.






By all accounts, the meeting was a success and everyone enjoyed the rest of the weekend. While the staff at the Monteleone was extremely helpful (even going so far as to pick Michael up from OPP so he wouldn't have to take a cab) and apologized profusely for all that had happened, it didn't matter. When the manager asked Sarah if she would like to book the meeting for the same dates in 2010, she politely said, "Thank you but I don't think we will be back."

I will be writing a letter to the editor of the Times-Picayune on their behalf. I am sure Sarah will be writing one as well. Besides the belabored point that New Orleans continues to shoot itself in the foot with this type of stuff on a national level, I want to know WHY a police officer and the police department waste time, money, and resources on this type of stuff. There are armed robberies, muggings, shootings, and carjackings on a nightly basis in areas of the city that were considered safe. Not to mention, a bartender was shot and killed walking home in that very same French Quarter a few weeks ago. What is wrong with people?






A little common sense by the cop, a police escort to the hotel on the condition Michael and Sarah stay there and everybody wins............especially New Orleans when it hosted the 2010 Matilda Jane sales meeting.










Because there are no pictures to go with Episode I (although it would be much cooler if there were), I give you a picture of me and the beautiful JSH before the first event at DC Mardi Gras:












Tomorrow: Epidose II "Private Jets and Shots of Grand Marnier"

I have been slacking

I will have a detailed post up tonight. Due to our trip to DC and other events of the last week, I just haven't had the time. Thanks for your patience (Kim).